Standing at the cleft of old and new year, wrestling with doubt about who I am and what I am about. Is there hope for renewal in my life? Is God listening, or is the blessing worn and stale? I have not felt such despair, such discardedness for a very long time. The jaded lament of the Kohellet “all is vanity” echoes from a distant pillar. I wait for the curtain to rise, only to find that the stage is empty, dust-filled, and cold.