The calamity of chosen-ness.

I struggle with the idea of being chosen by God. Chosen for what? I realize that part of ‘chosen-ness’ is in the act of my choosing to be in relationship to God. But I have to question God’s keeping His end of the bargain at times. Forgive me if that sounds sacreligious. It just seems that- if you examine history-God has a difficult time letting go of grudges when it comes to the Jews. In the current climate of antisemitism, which is an even deadlier variety than that fostered in Europe over 60 years ago, being a Jew is risky business. It doesn’t seem at all fair- we try to “be a light to the nations”, and take all sorts of flack for just existing- is this what chosen-ness is all about? Are we chosen to be the cosmic whipping post? Christians get to have all of their sins forgiven just for the asking, and God is very happy with them, while Jews slog away at trying to live a righteous life and are hated for any of the good that they contribute. It seems to me that King David paid a mighty price for his tryst with Bathsheba…while the same sin commited by prominent clergy today is atoned for by a few tears and perhaps a few embarrassing interviews. Christians throughout the ages have “gotten away with murder” in the name of religious zeal. Why is it that we cannot be allowed to live in peace? Why must we be hunted and pursued and either killed or converted? We are told that we have been abandoned by God, that the church is the “New Israel”. We are told that we cannot have a relationship with God, and that we cannot truly know the love of God unless we say that Jesus is God. The world has a double standard for Israel- and for Jews in general. Our prayers are not legitimate, and yet if we act in a manner befitting the rest of humanity, we are roundly condemned. We are expected to lie down and die- we are forbidden to defend ourselves like any other country would be allowed to do. We are called “apes and pigs” by those who wish to destroy us- and the media is rife with propaganda and lies sponsored by the terrorist groups whose mission is to rid the globe of all Jewish life. Why is it that Israel has to accept wounded terrorists into their hospitals, treating them and nursing them back to life so that they can come back with more bombs strapped to their bodies? Would Palestinians ever accept Israeli wounded? Of course not. Why is it that Israel is the one that has to unilaterally withdraw from territory that- if other countries had captured it- would never ever be relinquished without a fight? And why is it never enough for the Palestinians? Why is it never good enough? Why are WE not good enough???? Thanks God. Thanks for choosing us for death. I wonder about all of the promises made to Israel by the prophets…and I wonder if God remembers those promises- or has He reneged on them in favour of Christians (or Muslims)? The sin of the golden calf was paid for by many lives. For what sin were 6 million murdered during the Shoah? And why is Your grace so exclusively offered to some, and not us? Yet for all of the grief that You allow us to bear, we still must love You. For a “God of Love”, You sure show your love to us in a weird way. I apologize for this rant, but You of course already see that it is coming from a heart so badly broken, that I despair of it ever being put back together again. Perhaps You might forgive me just this once.

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