Thoughts



It seems like forever since I wrote last- at least in this little corner of my world. Facebook has swallowed up my creative time, and to what avail? One consolation is that I am a bit freer to express myself here than on that burgeoning social network. Blogs seem far less voyeuristic, and might I say “safer”? Perhaps just another flight of fancy. At any rate, so much has happened in my life that I struggle to keep up in the recounting of it. I would like to join a writer’s group to get some feedback as to whether my story is worthwhile hearing at all. Do I have the skill to tell it? I know from my experiences in working with the dying that the transmission of stories is as important to an individual (even more so) than the blood that keeps them alive. Needing to know that our lives on this planet have meaning and purpose, and that our existance was important to others, is critical to our emotional and spiritual healing. Perhaps in the articulation of my thoughts, written for the benefit of the ether surrounding me, I can find a sense of comfort and companionship. It is not as desperate as it sounds. It is just that I would like to speak and write truthfully without fear of censorship- the fear that somehow my thoughts, perceptions, and feelings about a given subject are defective. For most of my life I have tried to live in order to please others. I am left at the end of the day wondering if such a way of being was helpful to those “others”, and whether those “others” really know who I am on the inside. If they really knew, would they care? Perhaps it is better to continue with the status quo. But at least in this safe place, I can question, ruminate, and think out loud without the fear of offending anyone. For that I say Deo gracias.

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