Father’s Day

Yesterday was my son’s first Father’s day. He was unable to spend it with his son, probably due to it being “inconvenient” to his wife, or sort-of-wife. I find it difficult to conceive of this mockery of marriage as being in reality something that Joshua would eventually aspire to. Matthew is not allowed to be a father in the fullest sense of the word. Nor is he really fighting for that right. It is the path of least resistance, all the way. How is Joshua supposed to view this totally emasculated form of parenthood? I rage inwardly. Matthew’s passivity affects us as well. We as grandparents have been essentially banished from Joshua’s life. I cannot have an authentic relationship with my own son, as any expression of honest feelings results in walls as thick as fortress steel being erected. We play by Matthew’s rules, or we become as estranged as he is from his own pretend marriage.
Yes, I am angry. Bloody angry.

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