What one thing can’t you seem to scratch off your to-do list?

Actually, there are two things that I would like to do before I ‘kick the bucket’ (and the list I am sure will increase if I give the matter additional thought). The first thing that I would like to do is pluck up the courage to go horseback riding. I have loved horses from the time I was a child- always secretly longing for one to hide in my closet (or backyard). My nephew owns a horse, as does his partner, and they have offered to take me out riding, so the only thing holding me back is nailing down a date. Damn you imperious schedule. The tyranny of the unnecessary time fillers tends to win out on most occasions. That, and thinking deep down inside that they really don’t want to be saddled with a decrepit aunt who is trying to act out her highly overgrown adolescent fantasies. The second thing that I would like to do is write and publish a book or two (or more). But I cannot even get myself to face the daunting task of creating a resume. Nor can I find the ‘insert special character’ function to allow me to spell resume with an accent (acute) on the last ‘e’. I will begin with NaNo WriMo and see where it goes from there. How difficult can it be to write a 50,000 word novel in 31 days? Damn you procrastination, insecurity, and all the other character flaws that prevent me from actualizing my potential. Now that I am on a roll, I suppose that the third thing that I cannot seem to scratch off the list is ‘cleaning and organizing my books, papers, and other academic or administrative drivel’ that seems to collect or otherwise sprout like morning glory through the garden of my otherwise serene and zen-like mental landscape. A fourth thing could be to reread most of the books (or read for the first time) that line my shelves. I am an unashamed book-a-holic. So what if some of the volumes weigh at least 20 lb and have rice paper thin leaves and small print with no pictures. They are my friends. I find it very difficult to part with books- even multiple copies of outdated textbooks thrown out by schools that are in the process of updating to flashier and more user friendly editions. Having taught math, chemistry, and biology, I can attest to the fact that newer is not always better. I want to complete a CD with my husband- even 2 CDs or more. Is that too much to ask? A sixth thing that I would like to do is rebuild the chicken house, create a goat shed and goat run, and redo the gardens. OK, that is combining more than one thing, but I am a woman, and I multitask (and have not a small measure of ADHD). I also have an obsession with Martha Stewart, being determined to live up to her impossible standards. Maybe she reminds me of my stepmother- another person who ironed her underwear, waxed her driveway, and lived in a hermetically sealed environment (thank you Carol Burnett for those visual images). Then again, to live on a biblical scale, I have always aspired to be like the proverbs 31 lady, whose virtues are praised every Friday night as we welcome in the Sabbath Queen. My husband truly believes that I am like her-bless him forever. Now that I have realized that there are several things that I can never seem to scratch off of my do list, I can end this barrage of words feeling grossly and suicidally depressed as I look at how far short I seem to fall from the mark. Oh well. Hope dies hard- and there is always tomorrow. Somethings are meant to be chipped away at. After all, Solomon’s temple was not built in a day.

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