Another year- another beginning, with the hope of yet another clean slate, it should be G-d’s will. I stand, or sit, with my grocery list of character flaws that I wish to repair, and the good deeds that I hope to fulfill in the coming weeks and months. I feel like the child summoned to the principle’s office. I wonder to myself if the King of all Kings is weary with the annual squeaking of this unremarkable creature- my excuses, my whinings, the promises well intentioned, and yet so quickly forgotten. I recall the words of the psalmist- “for He knows our frame, and he remembers that we are but dust”, and think to myself, “here is another truck load of compost for the cosmic garden that is my spiritual life. I cannot let that be the focus, for today is the day that G-d is truly crowned “King” of my life. There is none of me, for today is all about Him- his sovereignty, His faithfulness, His incredible, passionate love for the little god-like creations that He has chosen to fashion in His image. My heart bursts with gratitute, and joy. One thing have I desired of You, and like Melech David, I will seek after it- that I may dwell in Your house evermore, to behold Your beauty and inquire at Your tabernacle. I choose to call you “Father”, and not the generic “parent”, for in calling you “father”, you are brought closer to me. I know that you are more than gender, and that your love transcends the tenderest love of mother. I just choose to call you “Father”, because it is all I have ever known. You know me better than I know myself, and you call me by a multitude of names- names that reflect my character and not the totality of my being. “Father” is just a start. Today you are both father and King, and ever so much more than those two facets of the jewel. You are altogether ineffable, to be forever adored, worshipped and praised, world without end.
I choose to commit to writing more this year. Some of it will be blathering, but perhaps, after sifting through the drivel, the odd pearl of great price may surface.